NEWS ALERTS FROM THE YEAR 2029

(I AM NOT THE ORIGINATOR, NOT SURE WHO IS)

Some things are humerous but wierdly unsettling. Here are some news alerts from the year 2029:

*Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly recognized as California.

*Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

*Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

*Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

*Postal Service raises price of First Class Stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

*Average weight of Americans drops to 250 pounds.

*Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

*Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States.

*Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

*Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

*Government authorizes tatooing of Senior Citizen' arms with bar codes to give Government Health Care administrators easier way to decide when to eliminate them.

*Residential Home prices fall to Negative value. Now bank will pay you $15,000. to take one. However property taxes are now $1,450,000. per year.